Well my best friend, Sarah, just graduated from the one year discipleship program. It was a very emotional experience, as everyone shared how they felt about her and how she’s changed their lives. So many people, she had no clue! It’s incredible to think how many people’s lives we change just by loving them. It’s like a ripple affect, it’s just keeps spreading. You touch someone’s life, they touch someone, and they touch someone. It’s just keeps going on and on. It’s amazing how one life can affect so many. I heard a very profound statement. Imagine….

One man disciples one other person for one whole year. After that year is up he then chooses another person to disciple for one year and continues to do that for 33 years. The ones he disciples does the same thing for 33 years. BAME!!! 8 Billion People are discipled, not converts, but Disciples of Christ. Rob White (Director of N.C. Dream Center) made a comment during Sarah’s ceremony…..He said, “The reason we get discipled is so that we too can make disciples.” Do we want a normal; boring life or do we want the true Christian life, full of excitement and emotion? To be a ‘real’ Christian, should not be boring……but exciting! Because you are doing what you were created to do! So what are you, just a convert or a disciple?

PEACE-

Hey, sorry all, it's been over a month now since the last time I wrote. I've just had a lot going on. Well about three weeks ago I lost my job due to some unjust reasons. I won't go into all the details. But praise God, I just got a job today! I will be working where a good friend of mine used to work until she got married and moved away. Yes for those of you who know Anna, I will be working where she used to work. This new job is going to be better than my last one because I will be working thirds and only on the weekend. That way I have all week I can do ministry and study. And I will be making enough money to pay all my bills. My last job I worked  like crazy and had no free time to do ministry. And this summer I want my schedule to be free because Metro Kidz has just started back up. That's a Sunday Sidewalk program for kids. We take church to the streets where the children and their parents can hear the Truth, which some have never heard before. It's aweosme! Also this summer for the whole month of July we are having a summer internship program. Where 5 girls and 5 boys can be apart of an intence discipleship internship and experience some of what we experience. Plus a whole lot more cool things are planned out for them. It's going to be extreemly exciting. This summer internship isn't for just anyone, but for those who are ready to die to their flesh and be transformed forever. Hey if you want to check out the web site go to: http://www.ncdreamcenter.com and there is a link to "Consumed 2005". Well that's it for now I have a lot of studing to do. As I'm about to finish my second phase to this one year long discipleship progam with the N.C. Dream Center. It's exciting. I'm about half way. My best friend Sarah, is graduating this weekend! The Christian life is to be exciting! Not a lived out boring routine, but it's to be filled with experiences with God and seeing God's love and power shown through His disciples.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (Amplified Bible)
¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. He also has planted eternity in men's hearts and minds [a divinely implanted sense of a purpose working through the ages which nothing under the sun but God alone can satisfy], yet so that men cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 

What does it mean to have eternity in the hearts of men? The Lord has been speaking to be about haveing eternity in my heart. Ummm.... it's a lot to think about. Imagine, eternity. It makes your life here on earth seem SO SHORT. It makes you realize that there is a bigger picture than your own little world. I want to see from a wider perspective, look through the eyes of Jesus. Ever since I was a kid, I thought of living a life of simplicity so that I could further the Kingdom of God. For example...how much money do I spend in a month on things I don't need? Alot. Some people spend thousands of dollars for nice things they don't need. Like brand new cars for 20,000-40,000 dollars or more, brand new homes, the best clothes, the best of everything. If people would spend less, more money could go into the Kingdom to feed the hungry, or clothe the naked, or to help those who are poor. I heard a very profound statement, Matthew 6:21
for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Did you know that just in America if everyone took their money and combined it, we would have enough money to clothe, feed, and home everyone in the world. That's crazy, because we all hord it for ourselves. Me encluded. Did you know if you take the 4 top richest families in the world, it could cure hunger world wide. That's nuts. What's wrong with this picture? We need a revelation of eternity placed in our hearts. God give us a revelation of eternity. When we have that in our hearts...what does that do with pride? We realize that we are a 'small' part of God's big plan. In Matthew 25 it says: ³⁴Then the King will say to those at His right hand, Come, you blessed of My Father [you favored of God and appointed to eternal salvation], inherit (receive as your own) the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. ³⁵For I was hungry and you gave Me food, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you brought Me together with yourselves and welcomed and entertained and lodged Me, ³⁶I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me with help and ministering care, I was in prison and you came to see Me. ³⁷Then the just and upright will answer Him, Lord, when did we see You hungry and gave You food, or thirsty and gave You something to drink? ³⁸And when did we see You a stranger and welcomed and entertained You, or naked and clothed You? ³⁹And when did we see You sick or in prison and came to visit You?  ⁴⁰And the King will reply to them, Truly I tell you, in so far as you did it for one of the least [in the estimation of men] of these My brethren, you did it for Me.Now I'm not saying we aren't supposed to have nice things or that we can't. I'm just asking you to look into your hearts and ask yourself, what's more important?
Can we do without inferior plessures to further the Kingdom of God? Something needs to change. Something has to change!

God has really been showing me alot about myself. And it hasn't been pretty. But the main thing He has been trying to teach me has to do with my tongue. I have a hard time controlling it. I like to interupt others and finish their sentences, I like to debate just about any topic, I have a hard time not giving in to slander, and I always seem to speak out the negative. I think out of many sins I have repented from, this is one of the hardest to turn over to God. The tongue is hard to control.
I want to share a scripture with you.

James 3:5-6 
⁵Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. ⁶The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

The tonge sets the course of the whole body. Wow, who knew such a little thing could cause so many problems. The tongue is a small part of the body, but it can be very dangerous, but it can be very helpful too. Here in Proverbs 12:18 it says:
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tonge of the wise brings healing.
I want to bring healing to others through being wise with my words. I really believe with all of my heart that if we want God to take what we pray seriouslly and if we want people to listen to us, we need to first take our own words into consideration and show self-control. If we want our words to carry authority so that when we pray our prayers are answered, first we need to choose our words wisely. Lord change my heart, Lord change our hearts.
 
Here is another scripture that is changing me.....James 1:26
If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.
I want my life to mean something. I want what I say to matter. That when I speak the Lord listens and that I can be found blameless in action and in speach.
I have one more scripture. Here in Psalms 15:1-3 is says:

¹ LORD , who may dwell in your sanctuary?  Who may live on your holy hill? ² He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart ³ and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman,

Lord forgive me.

I want to share an experience I had about a year ago. It really opened up my eyes. One year ago I was living in North Carolina. I had no family there and I was only 20 years old. I had just finished a two year bible school. Well at that time I was struggling financially. I actually was having a lot of problems, every thing seemed to be going wrong. I was lonely and depressed. Well my car was in the shop for 2 weeks and I just got it out and I got in a minor car accident but thank goodness no body was hurt. Well when I went home I just broke. I began to weep. So many things were already going wrong and then this had to happen. It just pushed me over the top. But it the midst of my brokenness I felt God's presence so STRONG. I felt so much peace and love from God and yet felt all these horrible thoughts about God and myself. I remember blabbing out the words,"what have I done? Why did this have to happen to me? Are you punishing me?" Then I heard the Lord speak to my heart. He said,"You don't know that I love you." I thought, yes I know You love me. I have known You for many years, I even moved 600 miles away to go to bible school because You told me to. Then a light came on. I knew in my mind God loved me, but not in my heart (that's what really matters). At that moment, I knew I didn't believe God loved me. I realized that my heart was a heart of stone and not a heart of flesh. God allowed me to be broken, so I would know the condition of my heart and so that I could "feel" His love for me. What is so weird about the whole thing is, that while my world was falling apart I never felt so close to the Lord. I would have my world stay that way just so I could "feel" Him like that all the time.  It was the worst and the best feeling in the world. If that makes sence. :)

I think what people need, especially me, is to come to a place of being broken. So we know what's truly in our hearts. God needs to break the stone off of our hearts, so we can have a heart of flesh. We don't want to be like most of the Pharisees and know God intellectually and not personally.

Thats it for now. Later.